Quiet
Today most my housemates left to go home for Christmas. Suddenly very quiet! I can't afford to go home just yet as I have to go to my sister's for a couple of days, so there's no point driving home and then back to hers. I am packing up some of my stuff today. I get bored of all this moving around sometimes - it'd be nice to be settled in one place to call home. I consider N. Wales more my home now, though when housemates all go home it's not so fun!
Looking forward to spending Christmas with my family. Helen won't be there this year though as she's spending it with Chris' family. Could be the last Christmas in the UK for a few years if I go on the ships... :0)
Poetry
I am reading a lot of poetry at the moment. I read this one today by
Juan Ramon Jimenez, which I really like:
I am not I.
Walking beside me whom I do not see,
Whom at times I manage to visit,
And at other times I forget.
The one who remains silent when I talk,
The one who forgives, sweet, when I hate,
The one who takes a walk when I am indoors,
The one who will remain standing when I die.
What I like about it is this sense that there are two people - the physical me and the spiritual me. The spiritual me, my soul, usually has different (better) ideas than the physical me. Sometimes there is this real distance between the two - it would be great if we could engage more of the time!
Friday's Bible notes were talking about praising from the shadows, and the famous hymn by Spafford that goes:
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
And sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
I've always liked these words, though I reckon I probably know a different tune to them! I'd never known the story behind them though and I thought it relevant to the theme of my blogpage:
'Horacio Spafford wrote this hymn after two major traumas in his life. First the great Chicago fire of October 1871 ruined him financially. Shortly after, while crossing the Atlantic, all four of his daughters died in a collision with another ship. Spafford's wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram: 'Saved alone.' Several weeks later, as Spafford's own ship passed near the spot where his daughters died, he wrote these incredible words. He worshipped at the place of utter loss.'
"The River"
Here is the whole of Garth Brooks song 'The River' (see top right of blog front page). I love the words of this song because it reminds me to take risks with God, to live by faith, to chase my dreams... It is so easy to have a dream and to let time just slip away and to never do anything about it. When I chose this poem for my blogpage, the site I got it from hadn't put the last verse. It is apt then that I chose it, as it talks about the Lord being the Captain.
You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and
I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide
Chorus
There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all
Chorus
Operation Mobilisation
So this is my first ever blog!
I've just sent off my application form to serve with OM ships from August. All very exciting! I do hope I get a place, though even if I don't, at least I know I'm following God's will.
God's been challenging me loads on materialism lately. I have so much 'stuff' that I hardly use and there are all these people around the world who live with next to nothing yet are so content. If I go on the ships from next summer, I won't be able to take much with me. What good is most this stuff anyway? So I felt compelled to sell lots of things and give the money to charity, after my tithe. It's been fabulous. I get all these charities asking for money at this time of year. There are some that I like to support but don't often have much money to do so, so it's great to be able to give so freely to people like Tearfund and Christian Aid.
I've also been challenged on 'what am i prepared to give up?' Going on OM would mean giving up my car, mobile phone, computer, stereo... I feel quite prepared to do it, though when you actually have to sit down and think seriously about these things, it's surprising how attached I am to them! It's great to think that I'd come back in 2 years or so with a completely different worldview/outlook on life, and different priorities.
It's so exciting the work that OM does abroad - giving people a chance to learn about Christ, helping people with aid and community projects, providing much needed literature... There are over 40 different nationalities living and working on board the ships - such a witness to how all people can live in harmony.
Umberto Scapagnini, Mayor of Catania, Italy, said this during the opening ceremony for Doulos:
“You don’t speak about religion. You are an expression of it.”
